Phish - Shafty

Caitlin,
I don't know how I allowed myself to get stuck in the dimension that's hell, literally the lyrics to Phish - shifty. This is supposed to be a pleasant experience logging my experiences and then I end it when I wish to. I got trapped in the dimension where voices torment me and shitty emotions are addicted to me, the hell of what the bleep do we know. A seizure keeps me addicted to this dimension and eventually creates artistic pride off the sweat of the seizure although without my medication the seizure usually makes me go to sleep. I remember thinking 'fuck not these people' when I got stuck with them. This may be the same people as the foresters I don't know but there are different groups of people who are still in this today, I cannot reach them without medication and meditation/music. All of this is a psychological trick, internal tricks that people do to get to the next dimension. In the world I live in I can't hear real music, there's something on my eye that allows sound waves in, references to eras/things that I did. In the beginning of fevers and mirrors it still mentions skittles/tells me I have bitched out for far too long. I have gotten this off my eye before but only with my medication. After a period of time it seems the people on the other end believe that I've forgotten the real human experience, I however haven't forgotten this or the directions that James Hughes gave me outside the U.N. / the reference to exiting this / ending this from hell's kitchen in memory that you gave me.
The only chance I currently have in this is because I live at occupy wall street. I commented on the pride of having the Fulton Street stop in a note to myself. I didn't go to automatic sleep because my mind paused recognizes the subway as a place for working and zuccatti park as a place for sleep. It's the first time my mind has recognized at it's base having a home, otherwise I wouldn't have heard this command to sleep I simply would have fallen into the baby sleep that has been built for me. Part of the comfort may have been built by the person who claims to be you, I can't tell. At the moment somebody is controlling a portion of my body, I at times believe this to be you although I cannot prove this. Eventually they have to tell you what's happening since I've chosen you as God of this and inheritor of the fortune of my body.
Internally I've found a sense of loyalty to occupy wall street that I haven't felt since S.V.A.
I haven't had a cult of people to be loyal to since I got kicked out of S.V.A. my thesis year attempting to use this as a 24/7 t.v. show to become your boyfriend (presuming at the end they were going to pay me)
I don't like being controlled for my entries which is happening to a certain extent on the other end.
I don't know to what extent harvey weinstein has to do with this project since I've asked that he be kicked out of this. I decided today to live in a permeant form of you as a religion, I've continued to write in the gita. Expanding upon my theosophy of caitlin. I've decided this to be the most important thing, to pray everywhere I go find a way to cut out the human aspect from the people on the other end, simply live in a form of you. I'm running out of medication as well, I need $.
I'm going to create artwork regardless of how little of myself exists within myself.
The only way to prove that I exist, the only way to harness the energy of Zuccatti Park. I believe to a certain extent that Harvey Weinstein wants me to stop making the art, the anger I feel for this in this moment being forced to associate to a thought cap on the other end. I'd rather create shit artwork than stop making artwork because somebody controls me on the other end. We have to harness the energy of occupy wall street into a television station before the F.B.I. appears to take us out in the same way Richard Nixon attacked John Lennon for deportation when he was going to get him out of office. It's my belief in this sort of conspiracy reality that led me to pretend to be republican when this started in hell's kitchen when I believed Guilanni found out I was a false republican and planned on taking the $ from the republican party after attacking them from the inside. Homeland security will attack us if we don't create this movement into a television station, for nugget for something. They'll feed us bad acid like the hippies in the 70s to destroy us, the sort of dirty republican tricks that exist when a movement like the yippies exists. I find as my mind grows with the medication I grow loyalty to the occupy wall street movement. Somebody is attempting to control me at this moment but I refuse to allow this to prevent me from writing to you.
In 2008 a false art war is created between fairfield, connecticut and williamsburg, brooklyn that claims to be chaos magic. This I'm told goes on in the world when I go off my medication and I ignore that this is happening. This is some form of plot line but I find this to have ruined my life to pit my loves against each other. At one point I'm told pete mastronardi is involved in an astral war and I'm told not to go for ultimate lust with jeanette romenello psychologically in my apartment in brooklyn. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about but this is all apart of the game. After I come back from Connecticut I'm told Williamsburg was emptied out for me, all of this is a lie including the story of my biological father attempting to kill me a manipulation of circumstances is frequently what happens on the other side until I control the astral religion and gain back parts of my personality. In Hell's Kitchen whoever exists on the other end keeps telling me if I pick New York I loose Fairfield, Connecticut but I can't hear this. They keep asking me what I want but I mock them and find that they eventually make me psychotic to get an answer. References like this are given by Hughes for me to remember what happened but feels like yesterday when the people on the other end used to blatantly acknowledge me. I'm going to leave best buy I need more medication I love you.

-Little Nemo
(christopher)

A Caitlin Rodriguez Production
Little Nemo on HBO
11/12/2011
black caitlin heart
The School of visual arts church of silver tiles day 383/8 james hughes days